It’s Saturday. It’s breakfast day. As always, I ventured to breakfast as my best self. It’s hard not to be when you’re on your way to eat (what you assume is) delicious food prepared by someone else. On this chillier-than-usual morning we headed to Wise Acre Eatery.
The restaurant was an easy find on Nicollet Avenue and we were delighted to find a mini parking lot available for us. We hopped into the tiny little venue, decorated with trendy yet rustic wood trim and furnishings. We were soon led outside to the colorful and vegetation-filled patio.
We plopped down into chilled steel chairs and our waitress brought us coffees. The coffee was strong (thumbs up), they had almond milk (thumbs up), but it tasted a bit off (thumbs down) – burnt perhaps? I’m not going to be one of those people who walks around and says everyone burns their coffee (you know who you are, Starbucks haters), but I will say I wasn’t satisfied with my cup. And, as you know, substances that are even coffee-related satisfy me.
We settled in to contemplate the menu items. The brunch menu is quite small and rather limited. The diversity is minimal and many of the options are simply different combinations of the same foods. My friend and I actually decided to get the same meal, the ‘If You Must’ ($11). This meal came with a combo of different items, one of which was toast. So, naturally, in my sweetest voice and my usual, sparkling smile, I asked, ‘Could I substitute fruit for the toast?’
‘No.’ Our waitress stared at me blankly. “We don’t really do substitutions.’ Because we hate you gluten-freers.
I stammered, rather taken aback. ‘Okay, I guess I’ll just suffer…’ I said in my head. In reality I smiled and threw my menu at her. Okay, fine, in actual reality I just smiled and fumed internally.
We waited just a few minutes for our meals. When they arrived, we were only moderately excited. The portions were small and my toast was touching my other food. So I started off the experience pretty grumpy. And the food only aggravated me further. My eggs were overwhelmingly runny. I’m not sure I’d go as far to say they were undercooked, but they were certainly overly moist. As someone who is just beginning to tolerate eggs, I could hardly get them down. The sausage that accompanied them didn’t impress me either. It was overcooked (I’d even say a little burnt, to go with my coffee) and definitely overly spicy. The side of potatoes were basic fried potatoes – ones that I could have made at home and poured my own entire bottle of salt on.
My friend felt similarly disappointed. Though the bacon ‘was bomb,’ and the thickest cut of bacon she’d ever had that wouldn’t be considered a ham slab, everything else was sub par. The eggs, she agreed, were rather runny. They were also extremely under-seasoned and we were only offered pepper, but no salt to improve flavor (I encouraged her to pour some of the excess salt off of my potatoes). Her half a slice of toast looked good to the eye, but didn’t turn out to be anything special. It also wasn’t buttered, which is nice for the vegans, but makes normal people grumpy. Finally, she thought the potatoes were okay, but too simple. She kept describing their taste as comparable to McDonald’s fries – not a review I’d brag about.
So. Decent coffee. Not super great food. Less than satisfying overall experience. Though I got a meal out of it, but that was pretty much it. I left already longing for next week’s breakfast.
Coffee Quality: 7
Food Quality: 7
Quality of Service: 9
Menu Variety: 7
Overall Satisfaction: 6
Parking: street parking
Average Score: 7.2
Have you been to Wise Acre Eatery?
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OR…want to experience Wise Acre Eatery for yourself?
Check out their website or pop their address into your smartphone:
Wise Acre Eatery
5401 Nicollet Avenue South
Minneapolis, MN 55419